Saturday, August 23, 2008

Unexpected confidence

It has been a big day.

I received an unexpected letter from Kati and I realized something.  The passion involved with the time spent writing a letter is beautiful.  With this in mind I have decided to pursue writing to her as much as I can, often I hope.  I don't want to put a schedule on it cause I know I will fail there, but I do plan on making it a habit.

Tonight's communion service in front of Metzger hall was really cool.  Very emotional.  Parents saying goodbye to their children.  Many tears.  Yes, I cried, and no it wasn't because my parents left and I won't see them for quite some time.  I cried because God is so good to me.  His grand scheme has led me to a school that will stretch me and grow me and love me like nothing I could imagine.

I had two complete strangers pray for me, and not just "give Ryan a good life" prayers.  These were heartfelt prayers that spoke to who I actually am and what God has in store for me.

I know God wants me here, but I have no idea what he wants me to do here.  Dr. Barry spoke on walking in faith today.  That God will carry us to completion because he loves us.  That Biola is committed to helping us grow spiritually and academically.  What hit me most was his comparison between Certainty and Confidence.

God calls us to be confident, but never certain.  We will never know exactly, but we can walk with faith.  In fact the latin root of confidence is con- (with) and some other thing which I have forgotten which means faith.  My bad.  My mind runs like a train and sometimes skips stations.

Anyway, tangent aside, I am stepping out in confidence, in faith, that I am supposed to be here and not at home, where it is comfortable.


David said...

I'm so excited for you! Yes, mom & I both cried last night when we left you "alone" at Biola. But, one thing we learned this weekend, the staff, the faculty, and many of the students at Biola truly care for you, are concerned about your future, and your spiritual well fare.

This weekend was an interesting experience for mom & I. An incredible feeling of pride, excitement, and joy. But also the conflicting emotions of loss and sadness, as our jobs as parents change significantly forever.

We love you buddy, and will pray for you.

David said...

Oh, by the way. The latin root for confidence: con = with and fido or fidere = trust or faith.